WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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