you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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