I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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