Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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