Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
