real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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