Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
