i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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