You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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