Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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