take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
