We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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