You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
love makes seman taste better
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
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I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
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You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I got inside last night via doggy door
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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