So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
