Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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