Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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