All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My brain says no but my pants say off.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
