do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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