It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
