shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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