So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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