I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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