my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
