Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
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Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
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Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
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