i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
