Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
