Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
