Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize