okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
