i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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