hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
