all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
