I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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