i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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