Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
