We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
