Apparently you make a good broom.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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