Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
