I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
