Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
