I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Mom said you looked used
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize