He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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