hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
