I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
