addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
