Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize