she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
