She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
