I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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