If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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