if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
