There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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