The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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