I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
