You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
