Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
