I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
