I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
