I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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