you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
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Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize